witch words
我是一个不善表达的巫婆
平时说话大剌剌
所以让人以为我是个什么都说的人
其实，越在乎的，我越不懂怎么表达
光临我的心境世界，欢迎多多了解我 ^_^
my faves
Witch -> Jiawei -> Queen -> Elmer ->
skin: sixseven
de frame // 27 Oct
My Nonsensical Cousins *lolZ*
witchology
beyond my world
KRISTY ~da sao
ELIZ ~SHR colleague
JIAWEI ~poly
starS world
FELICIA Chin
ELVIN Ng
NAT Ho
SUN YanZi
my memories
since Mar 2005
[2011]
Jan.11
Feb.11
Mar.11
chain of sequence
Princess -> Yong Jin -> Fairy
special thanks
~ 原谅 ~
Date Stamp:
Tuesday, January 03, 2012
是我小气吗？我想我承认了。。
以前我说。。要当我朋友不简单，因为我很严格的 – 我对朋友的标准很高。
现在我说，其实是我小气，不容易原谅朋友吧。。
我不容易生朋友的气，但如果踩到我地雷了，我想我很难原谅。应该要过很久很久才能原谅吧。到那时，我想这段友谊原谅了，也只是个形式罢了 – 为避免我以后不小心在路上碰到的那尴尬场面。
当然，没有谁需要我的原谅。我只想原谅我自己。
~好久了。。 ~
是我小气吗？我想我承认了。。
以前我说。。要当我朋友不简单，因为我很严格的 – 我对朋友的标准很高。
现在我说，其实是我小气，不容易原谅朋友吧。。
我不容易生朋友的气，但如果踩到我地雷了，我想我很难原谅。应该要过很久很久才能原谅吧。到那时，我想这段友谊原谅了，也只是个形式罢了 – 为避免我以后不小心在路上碰到的那尴尬场面。
当然，没有谁需要我的原谅。我只想原谅我自己。
Labels: 华文
[[ End of Chapter // 原谅 ]]
~
Date Stamp:
Monday, November 28, 2011
有多久了。。距离我最后一次在这里打打字、说说话。这里，还有人吗？
工作稳定了，我终于找到了我想要的工作。。谢谢老天爷。。 :)
只是。。是我老了，还是工作压力大了？以前有根白头发我就会抓狂，现在有三根，我却习以为常。我老得还真~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 快~~~~~~~~~ 哈哈！
真的老了。。打几个字。。我已经累了。。
~什么都没有 ~
有多久了。。距离我最后一次在这里打打字、说说话。这里，还有人吗？
工作稳定了，我终于找到了我想要的工作。。谢谢老天爷。。 :)
只是。。是我老了，还是工作压力大了？以前有根白头发我就会抓狂，现在有三根，我却习以为常。我老得还真~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 快~~~~~~~~~ 哈哈！
真的老了。。打几个字。。我已经累了。。
Labels: 华文
[[ End of Chapter // 好久了。。 ]]
~
Date Stamp:
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
在你所在
呼吸你所呼吸
看你所看
听你所听
那天，我问自己：
“当真爱输给了时间、输给了善变、输给了现实。。真爱还剩什么？什么都没有。。”
真爱，屈服了吗？是没办法，只好输。
真爱，可以征服一切？是童话，现实可没这回事。
在你所在，但回忆给不了温度。
呼吸你所呼吸，但现实的空气很稀薄。
看你所看，但我们都只看见变化。
听你所听，但我们都听不见心说的 。
~在乎谁比较多 ~
在你所在
呼吸你所呼吸
看你所看
听你所听
那天，我问自己：
“当真爱输给了时间、输给了善变、输给了现实。。真爱还剩什么？什么都没有。。”
真爱，屈服了吗？是没办法，只好输。
真爱，可以征服一切？是童话，现实可没这回事。
在你所在，但回忆给不了温度。
呼吸你所呼吸，但现实的空气很稀薄。
看你所看，但我们都只看见变化。
听你所听，但我们都听不见心说的 。
[[ End of Chapter // 什么都没有 ]]
~
Date Stamp:
Friday, August 05, 2011
一个人，在喧闹的街上。好吵，但心里却是如此寂寞。可以在朋友面前假装，但开怀的笑声和爱笑的眼睛就在他们的一不留神，失去踪影。她的眼神总是漂到远方，而思绪飞得更远。
她不喜欢在生活里找寻任何可以联想到他的人事物，但这似乎已变成了个习惯。
她不喜欢在空闲的时候就想起过去，但常常都不自禁。
一个人，在孤寂的公司里。好静，但她脑海却是如此起伏不定。不需要对谁说话，她不想开口，就这样也好。少说少错少是非； 没有和谁要好，就没有在乎，没有起伏的心情，没有复杂的人事物。她，越来越像他了。
他一个人，故意不说话、故意不在乎、故意冷漠。他想只在乎自己就好，爱自己最重要，别人真的都无所谓。
他的笑声背后，也有他想保护的人，他在乎的人。
他的寂寞背后，也想要有个依靠，有个听他说话，陪他吃饭的人。
这些都是真的，只有不在乎是装的。
如果真的不在乎，他就不会静静地守在她身边。
如果真的不在乎，他就不会在意她的心情。
如果真的不在乎，他就不会介意她身边有谁谁谁。
如果真的不在乎，他就不会试探她对他的感觉。
如果真的不在乎，他就会和她在一起。
在乎，是在乎谁比较多，不仅仅是在乎而已。
没关系，这。。都已经过去了。。
~my new job ~
一个人，在喧闹的街上。好吵，但心里却是如此寂寞。可以在朋友面前假装，但开怀的笑声和爱笑的眼睛就在他们的一不留神，失去踪影。她的眼神总是漂到远方，而思绪飞得更远。
她不喜欢在生活里找寻任何可以联想到他的人事物，但这似乎已变成了个习惯。
她不喜欢在空闲的时候就想起过去，但常常都不自禁。
一个人，在孤寂的公司里。好静，但她脑海却是如此起伏不定。不需要对谁说话，她不想开口，就这样也好。少说少错少是非； 没有和谁要好，就没有在乎，没有起伏的心情，没有复杂的人事物。她，越来越像他了。
他一个人，故意不说话、故意不在乎、故意冷漠。他想只在乎自己就好，爱自己最重要，别人真的都无所谓。
他的笑声背后，也有他想保护的人，他在乎的人。
他的寂寞背后，也想要有个依靠，有个听他说话，陪他吃饭的人。
这些都是真的，只有不在乎是装的。
如果真的不在乎，他就不会静静地守在她身边。
如果真的不在乎，他就不会在意她的心情。
如果真的不在乎，他就不会介意她身边有谁谁谁。
如果真的不在乎，他就不会试探她对他的感觉。
如果真的不在乎，他就会和她在一起。
在乎，是在乎谁比较多，不仅仅是在乎而已。
没关系，这。。都已经过去了。。
[[ End of Chapter // 在乎谁比较多 ]]
~
Date Stamp:
Thursday, June 23, 2011
i resigned without a job, thinking that i can probably get a long break. meanwhile, i did continue to send out my resumes once a while.
anyway, lucky me. i managed to eventually, which means forsaking my family genting trip (they set off today!!), let alone the Japan trip which we were talking about. i felt bad actually, coz we were all so eager to finalize the trip asap.
but anyway, i am happy that i got a job! here's my company:
my position starts off as a contract staff. i think that's the norm now, coz employer wants to see if you can work. in my personal opinion, if you can't, probably they can say contract's up instead of highlighting to you that your performance sux. HAHA! but of course, there are cases where the company is indeed unable to get a headcount or that they only require someone in for a specific period of time to clear some stuff.
oh well, im not really that bothered. if they are not converting me to permanent staff, then probably i can take my long break then.. rest a while.. hehe!
even though i sincerely prefer employee engagement / relations than staring at numbers alone every single day, i think i am comfortable. i got a very caring and nice boss, who will always remind me not to work OT (because i will be required to work OT for Sep & Oct. so she is trying to minimise my OT now). and i got nice HR colleagues too. people from other departments, not so sure, since i dont really get to interact with them.
my job scope is so different from what i used to be doing for the past 7 years. back then in my previous 3 companies, there were always alot of humane work to be done like talking to HODs / employees, coordination and liaising work. i am liked, most of them on the phone or watsnot.
but now, i am facing tonnes of spreadsheets everyday. i am either flooded with words or numbers - choose one. right now, is more of doing consolidation rather than analysing data. i wish my boss teaches me the analysing part like now? but she prefers me to take things at a time - pick up the foundation first, understand the organisation departments and positions, what they do, etc and from there, try to build up my mental skills in analysing.
i guess im just the impatient sort, who wants to fly before i even learn how to crawl. i cant stand myself not knowing things (how it works, etc) i ought to know for my role. i simply wana know everything! LOL
ok, anyway, God bless me for my job~
~farewell Moya~ ~
i resigned without a job, thinking that i can probably get a long break. meanwhile, i did continue to send out my resumes once a while.
anyway, lucky me. i managed to eventually, which means forsaking my family genting trip (they set off today!!), let alone the Japan trip which we were talking about. i felt bad actually, coz we were all so eager to finalize the trip asap.
but anyway, i am happy that i got a job! here's my company:
my position starts off as a contract staff. i think that's the norm now, coz employer wants to see if you can work. in my personal opinion, if you can't, probably they can say contract's up instead of highlighting to you that your performance sux. HAHA! but of course, there are cases where the company is indeed unable to get a headcount or that they only require someone in for a specific period of time to clear some stuff.
oh well, im not really that bothered. if they are not converting me to permanent staff, then probably i can take my long break then.. rest a while.. hehe!
even though i sincerely prefer employee engagement / relations than staring at numbers alone every single day, i think i am comfortable. i got a very caring and nice boss, who will always remind me not to work OT (because i will be required to work OT for Sep & Oct. so she is trying to minimise my OT now). and i got nice HR colleagues too. people from other departments, not so sure, since i dont really get to interact with them.
my job scope is so different from what i used to be doing for the past 7 years. back then in my previous 3 companies, there were always alot of humane work to be done like talking to HODs / employees, coordination and liaising work. i am liked, most of them on the phone or watsnot.
but now, i am facing tonnes of spreadsheets everyday. i am either flooded with words or numbers - choose one. right now, is more of doing consolidation rather than analysing data. i wish my boss teaches me the analysing part like now? but she prefers me to take things at a time - pick up the foundation first, understand the organisation departments and positions, what they do, etc and from there, try to build up my mental skills in analysing.
i guess im just the impatient sort, who wants to fly before i even learn how to crawl. i cant stand myself not knowing things (how it works, etc) i ought to know for my role. i simply wana know everything! LOL
ok, anyway, God bless me for my job~
[[ End of Chapter // my new job ]]
~
Date Stamp:
Monday, May 30, 2011
this is it, my last day of service in Moya. And Daniel was saying I am not valuing what I have now by choosing to leave - the colleagues, my fave Boss, and the ever-so-cosy environment. Seriously, no thrashing, no scoldings, no arguments, no bad feelings. hmmm.. somehow is amazing how this can be done. all along i thought that Sanford is the only place but Moya proves me wrong. But of course, Sanford people will remain as friends, but for Moya, probably just a few will and not all.
sad feeling? so far not yet and I hope not. but somehow im very worried about going to my new company. in fact, i have ever thought of backing out. haha! prolly coz is due to the totally new job scope that I will be undertaking that stirs up so much unrest within myself.
oh ya, did i mention... i actually found myself a job. the interview came right before i went on leave for my exams preparation and i was offered after that weekend. so finally i managed to leave coz I found myself a job, and to be exact, it is a job that I have been looking for. so I am really glad.
~this familiar sentence.. ~
this is it, my last day of service in Moya. And Daniel was saying I am not valuing what I have now by choosing to leave - the colleagues, my fave Boss, and the ever-so-cosy environment. Seriously, no thrashing, no scoldings, no arguments, no bad feelings. hmmm.. somehow is amazing how this can be done. all along i thought that Sanford is the only place but Moya proves me wrong. But of course, Sanford people will remain as friends, but for Moya, probably just a few will and not all.
sad feeling? so far not yet and I hope not. but somehow im very worried about going to my new company. in fact, i have ever thought of backing out. haha! prolly coz is due to the totally new job scope that I will be undertaking that stirs up so much unrest within myself.
oh ya, did i mention... i actually found myself a job. the interview came right before i went on leave for my exams preparation and i was offered after that weekend. so finally i managed to leave coz I found myself a job, and to be exact, it is a job that I have been looking for. so I am really glad.
[[ End of Chapter // farewell Moya~ ]]
~
Date Stamp:
Saturday, May 07, 2011
"If you are not happy working in your new company, you can come back straight away. Just say that I said so." 3 years ago, I heard this sentence from my old boss a few times when I resigned.
Just yesterday, I heard the almost-the-same sentence from my current boss. As quoted almost exactly - "If your deal with the new company doesnt get thru, you come back. (short pause) Even if your deal with the new company gets thru but you are not happy working there, you come back."
I guess I am lucky, very very lucky, to have such nice bosses. They are always offering me a role if I ever return to the company. Or were they commenting it plainly coz they know I will definitely not return? LOL
I remembered the first time I blogged about my current company was liked 2 years ago when I first joined them. Subsequently, scolding the people in there occasionally thru this blog coz I do have unreasonable colleagues there (actually only one). And now the time has come, and I need to go. I havent found a new job yet. HAHA!
In fact, people could not comprehend the reason for my resignation, may they be my ex-colleagues, my current colleagues, my family, etc. Probably let me do some sharing here.
1) My boss actually dotes on me alot, and i really mean as ALOT. We do have our fair share of arguments initially coz he is still trying to adapt to our Asian culture, etc. He does pass hurting remarks to me previously. But all those have passed. Now, he is really nice to me and he leaves me to do the tasks, and well, he doesnt scold me anymore and is always giving me ample freedom on both my work and personal matters, eg my studies. My boss is so flexible that he always allow me to go on 3 weeks leave for my studies, (probably a mixture of half and full day leave), and my colleagues will always try their best not to disturb me during this period). And since Mar 2011, my boss has been trying ways to talk me out into leaving. LOL
2) My colleagues are superb. HAHA! probably due to the fact that I been in there for 2 years, i share good working relationship with even the most difficult pax (in my pov). My colleagues are always there for me when I need their help or advice. Not once have they turned me down when I ask for help. I have colleagues who share laughter and jokes with, colleagues who listen to my woes, colleagues who care.. Despite being just the very few of us, we work hand-in-hand, helping each other wherever we can. Super nice~ :)
3) And so, you should have guessed, I dont like to be micro-managed, and the people in my company do not micro-manage AT ALL. This is the best out of everything. :)
4) Working location is only a 20 - 30 mins bus journey. Nuff said.
And it is definitely not due to salary, coz my boss had proposed a figure which I think, I am going to disrupt the internal equity if I accepted it. My brother called me a fool, a very stupid fool. And the key reason why I want to resign?
Coz I feel that I have been handling too much admin stuff and very less of HR, which I really dont like. Daniel commented that I handle admin matters very well. Ermm, for a moment, I was thinking if I should take that as a compliment. I should be handling HR matters and not admin matters. I could not be having a career switch simply coz the company requires me to do so. Boss actually has other things in mind that he wants me to handle if I stay on, not exactly admin but definitely not HR. And wow, I would then have 2 pax reporting to me, and I probably just need to delegate and oversee and shake leg. HAHAHAHA! But that is not what I want. The company is not accountable for my career but I am. Probably a few years later, I might have regretted my decision coz the company has moved itself into a very good shape and is earning big bucks, getting good bonuses.. I would leave that to later even though I am almost sure that I usually dont regret my decisions.
So why am I resigning without a job? Coz it is so difficult to get a job that I truly want, a job that offers me the learning ground in the expertise I want to go into, so that both the company and I grow together. And since it is so difficult to get the job I truly want, I would probably go for some vacation, get a very good rest before I move on or while I leisurely look for a job. While I can, while I have no commitment, this is the time for me to be jobless, with nothing to worry about. HAHA!
It is definitely a struggle. Not easy to find a job with good boss and good colleagues.. Haizz.. And that's why I am upset. I dont like to change job, seriously.
"If you are not happy working in your new company, you can come back straight away. Just say that I said so." 3 years ago, I heard this sentence from my old boss a few times when I resigned.
Just yesterday, I heard the almost-the-same sentence from my current boss. As quoted almost exactly - "If your deal with the new company doesnt get thru, you come back. (short pause) Even if your deal with the new company gets thru but you are not happy working there, you come back."
I guess I am lucky, very very lucky, to have such nice bosses. They are always offering me a role if I ever return to the company. Or were they commenting it plainly coz they know I will definitely not return? LOL
I remembered the first time I blogged about my current company was liked 2 years ago when I first joined them. Subsequently, scolding the people in there occasionally thru this blog coz I do have unreasonable colleagues there (actually only one). And now the time has come, and I need to go. I havent found a new job yet. HAHA!
In fact, people could not comprehend the reason for my resignation, may they be my ex-colleagues, my current colleagues, my family, etc. Probably let me do some sharing here.
1) My boss actually dotes on me alot, and i really mean as ALOT. We do have our fair share of arguments initially coz he is still trying to adapt to our Asian culture, etc. He does pass hurting remarks to me previously. But all those have passed. Now, he is really nice to me and he leaves me to do the tasks, and well, he doesnt scold me anymore and is always giving me ample freedom on both my work and personal matters, eg my studies. My boss is so flexible that he always allow me to go on 3 weeks leave for my studies, (probably a mixture of half and full day leave), and my colleagues will always try their best not to disturb me during this period). And since Mar 2011, my boss has been trying ways to talk me out into leaving. LOL
2) My colleagues are superb. HAHA! probably due to the fact that I been in there for 2 years, i share good working relationship with even the most difficult pax (in my pov). My colleagues are always there for me when I need their help or advice. Not once have they turned me down when I ask for help. I have colleagues who share laughter and jokes with, colleagues who listen to my woes, colleagues who care.. Despite being just the very few of us, we work hand-in-hand, helping each other wherever we can. Super nice~ :)
3) And so, you should have guessed, I dont like to be micro-managed, and the people in my company do not micro-manage AT ALL. This is the best out of everything. :)
4) Working location is only a 20 - 30 mins bus journey. Nuff said.
And it is definitely not due to salary, coz my boss had proposed a figure which I think, I am going to disrupt the internal equity if I accepted it. My brother called me a fool, a very stupid fool. And the key reason why I want to resign?
Coz I feel that I have been handling too much admin stuff and very less of HR, which I really dont like. Daniel commented that I handle admin matters very well. Ermm, for a moment, I was thinking if I should take that as a compliment. I should be handling HR matters and not admin matters. I could not be having a career switch simply coz the company requires me to do so. Boss actually has other things in mind that he wants me to handle if I stay on, not exactly admin but definitely not HR. And wow, I would then have 2 pax reporting to me, and I probably just need to delegate and oversee and shake leg. HAHAHAHA! But that is not what I want. The company is not accountable for my career but I am. Probably a few years later, I might have regretted my decision coz the company has moved itself into a very good shape and is earning big bucks, getting good bonuses.. I would leave that to later even though I am almost sure that I usually dont regret my decisions.
So why am I resigning without a job? Coz it is so difficult to get a job that I truly want, a job that offers me the learning ground in the expertise I want to go into, so that both the company and I grow together. And since it is so difficult to get the job I truly want, I would probably go for some vacation, get a very good rest before I move on or while I leisurely look for a job. While I can, while I have no commitment, this is the time for me to be jobless, with nothing to worry about. HAHA!
It is definitely a struggle. Not easy to find a job with good boss and good colleagues.. Haizz.. And that's why I am upset. I dont like to change job, seriously.
[[ End of Chapter // this familiar sentence.. ]]